Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Someone signed my nipple.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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