don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
