I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
