He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
