Umm I'm too high to move.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
