...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
