the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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