i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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