The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
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yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?