just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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