Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
