Your face is a jimmy john
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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