also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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