i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
