i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
