Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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