Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
