you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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