I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
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