If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Plan B is the new Plan A
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Randomize
