I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
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