Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
