you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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