My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
