at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Randomize
