oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
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My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
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Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I need to align my fucking chakras
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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