we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
