We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
