Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
