are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
