I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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