lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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