my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I will be naked everywhere
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
