they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
