We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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