Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize