I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She just used a chaser for red wine.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
pray to the hookup gods
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
