so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
