Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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