Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
So apparently I’m into choking now
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize