hell yes lets make some ravioli
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
