Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
