I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
