do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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