well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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