I heard we made out
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
