What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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