I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
