glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
