We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's blow job season.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
