Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
