I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
