I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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