what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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