I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize