so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
