I think i peed on brittanys purse
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Can I color on your dick again?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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