Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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