watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
