btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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