I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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