I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
